The Wonder of Magic Eight

So, Magic Eight and I have been spending a lot of time together in a past few weeks. I've had a lot of questions of the Universe and it's wry, but charming, sense of humor, so why not turn to the authority on the subject? Below is just a sampling of questions I've asked Magic Eight (and for those of you I'm throwing under the bus with me - hey! thanks!).
Note: A reminder that I'm using the special, High School Musical Magic Eight Ball

Will I ever win the lottery? "Don't Count On It"
Will I make a turkey for Christmas? ""Ask Again Later"
What are the chances that my divorce will be final before I turn 40 (please note: I am currently 33): "Sounds like a winner" (yeah, I noted the irony in this answer, too).
Is @georgebing thinking about donuts right now? "It is certain"
Why does my office always smell like stale cookies? "Call Back Friday @ 3:30"
Will @thediva send me a sexy text this morning? "It's Hard to Believe"
Will I find money in my Magic Pants today? "It's Hard to Believe"
Will @colettebenoir ever beat me in Wii Boxing? "Not Another Word" (uh oh! I better get practicing).
Is @kittyrocks asleep in her food bowl right now? "Stick to the Status Quo"
Do I think about sex more than the average teenage boy? "It is certain"
Does Tom-Tom love me as much as I love it? "Sounds like a winner"
Will @thediva and I manage to record another Broad Cast before the year's end? "It's Hard to Believe"
Is my uvula really that ginormous? "Not another word"
Will I get to go to Iceland this year? "Signs say soarin'"
Will I be spending Christmas day gambling? "Call Back Friday @ 3:30"
Is there a pedicure in my future? "It is decidedly so"

Yes, this is how I base the majority of my life decisions. Does anyone need any answers? Let me know!