The Dating Game

A friend asked me recently how my return to the wonderful world of dating was going. "Amusing", I answered. And really - I can not describe it in any other way. Now, I'll admit that by virtue of my quirky (yet utterly charming) personality, I tend to attract those that are a tad off-kilter. But, if an assessment of my current dating experiences forms a picture, then it would definitely look like one of those Rorschach inkblots in the shape of something phallic. Feels free to criticize, but I am taking a moment to provide my faithful reader's with Kat's List of Dating Do's and Don't.

• Do arrive on time, or somewhat close to on time. If you are going to be late, call, text, twitter, sky write or send a smoke signal. Just let me know.
• Don't ever break out the "air drums" or "air guitars".
• Do tell me about yourself, but don't tell me your life story. A girl likes a little mystery, and if your life story involves anything related to communes, a year of not-showering, several illegitimate children or outstanding warrants in any states, its probably best we not move forward.
  
• Do divulge ahead of time any information on your restraining order, and then DO promptly lose my phone number.
• Do take a hint. "Please leave me alone" actually means just that.
• Don't assume that one glass of wine is ever going to be enough for me. The most economical bet is really just to order the whole bottle.
• Don't wear all one color. And please, no T-shirts, especially if they have an 80s hair band name on them.
  
• Do realize that I will probably forget your name. Don't get offended. Accept that in the spirit of imagination, your re-naming by me is really a rite of passage
  
• Don't tell me to "try it, I might like it". I'm a Scorpio. I won't.
  
• Do go in for the good night kiss. Don't try too hard if I step on your foot instead.
  
• Don't talk too much about your mother, your cat, your Ex(es) or your blankie. I won't return from the restroom.
  

I'm sure they'll be a sequel to this series ... so stay tuned!

Angry Kat!

It's been a busy couple of weeks for Kat Glimmer! Adjusting to my new fantastic life adventures has taken patience, ale, and capitol! So, what have I discovered about my return to New England?

~ Ten Years in Florida left me with some serious inadequate footwear. I mean, when it rains here, it rains for DAYS, not minutes, like I'm used to. A trip to Kittery and the self-professed shoe guru, @Missscandalous, has remedied this situation. I hope ...
~ Lanes are kind of a "suggestion" when it comes to roadways. I guess its a little like coloring outside the lines - when you're driving, just pay attention to what's in front of you, and not what's on the side, or behind you. You are in the lead, after all!
~ When dating in Massachusetts, there is a good chance that the man you are going out with will be named "Joe" or "John". This will come in very handy when you forget your dates name, so just default to one of these two names, knowing that the odds are very good you'll hit your target.
~ Never, ever joke about the loss of a sport team. You'll be instantly excommunicated to some nearby, non-New England state, like Maryland, with no hope of a pardon.
~ In a continuation of her fetishes, Kitty has taken to some very main stream pop. While the Pussycat Dolls definitely make her shake her tail feather, so to speak, I think her *real* heart lies with the some old school Bel Biv Devoe ... "now you know".
~ I downloaded New Kids on the Block's latest album. Yeah? What's it to ya?
~ I now own an electric blanket! I seem to remember some old urban legend that electric blankets cause warts ... or was that kissing frogs? One can never remember.
~ People are still wearing sandals here. Seriously. It keeps the pedicure industry going.
~ An alarming number of "green" people have started to follow me on Twitter. I wonder if they know I'm harboring my secret hatred for the staff bike. Perhaps they are spies, come to check on me ...
~ Verizon is the devil.

I'm sure I'll have more ponderings along the way, but wants to keep you all up to date. Just remember - if you see me, be sure to lie to me and tell me that this fall weather lasts until February. I mean it.