I Wear The Pants

Recently, I had the following customer service encounter. This, my dear readers, is an example of having some Customer Service "fun". Some situations are just too good not to take advantage of.
Scene: Young, male customer does not wish to pay his account. After twenty minutes of circular argument via the phone, he pulls this gem out of, well, his pocket:
Queen Kat: Sir, you'll need to pay your account. There are no adjustments.
Customer: Listen, lady, you listen to me: I'm wearing the pants.
Queen Kat: Excuse me?
Customer: The pants, lady, the pants. I'm wearing the pants.
Queen Kat: Umm... which pants are you referring to sir?
Customer: THE pants, lady, which is why you're going to remove my fines.
Queen Kat: Are those like the Travelling Pants?
Customer: What?
Queen Kat: Never mind. Sir, I'm not sure what your pants reference has to do with your bill. I'd be happy to take a Visa and settle this now.
Customer: Lady - when I say "I wear the pants" that means you do what I say.
Queen Kat: Sir, I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand where this conversation is going. I, too, am wearing pants.
Customer: But you're not wearing THE pants. Now, remove my bill!
Queen Kat: Sir, are you insinuating that soon, you WON'T be wearing any pants? Because I'm afraid we're not that kind of call center.
Customer: What?
Queen Kat" You're desire to discuss your pants leads me to think that soon you won't be wearing any, and in that case, I'm afraid I'll need to end this inappropriate phone call.
Customer: But...
Queen Kat: Good day, sir, and good luck and your pants.

He he he he ....